SERIAL BOOK REVIEW | Higher Cause (Part 8 of 22) by John Hunt

This review is part of a series covering each installment of the serialized novel Higher Cause, written by John Hunt and published by Laissez Faire Books. To catch up, start with the announcement, the book’s link-rich table of contents, and the first review.

The eighth part of Higher Cause is out. Three chapters this time, and a real sense that the main plot is truly underway. I have some suggestions for streamlining, slicing off what does not aid the book and leaving some succulent, lean meat behind.

The first chapter takes us to more new characters, two of them. This is starting to happen with some frequency in the novel, and I am growing a little impatient with it. There is quite an investment of words given to these two men, which comes at the expense of making us wait on the storylines we are invested in. In truth, the chapter does not feel like it ought to have been a chapter all by itself. I would counsel shortening it and tacking it on to the end of another chapter, giving us just the bare essentials. Give us the important points and move the plot.

The last part saw a character introduced and developed at some length only to have him perish before the chapter ended. If these two men are going to figure large in the book, perhaps a little time spent here is OK, but if they are never going to be more than secondary characters — and after such late introductions, one wonders how primary they could possibly be — I think much of this should be edited. Whether it turns out to be worth it will depend on what happens next.

We follow them around in some detail as they perform their task, but one wonders if all these details are necessary. Again, another character’s bio sheet was told to us, rather than giving us an opportunity to get to know him by his words and actions. Did we enter the scene as late as possible and leave it as soon as we could? I do not think so, and the surplus detail exacerbates the problem.

This last point is something to ponder about the work as a whole. Now that it is coming into focus, it is worth thinking about which parts of the story need to be told and which do not. Star Wars, for instance, might have shown us Princess Leia’s squad when they first stole the plans for the Death Star. It might have shown us Luke’s Aunt and Uncle first purchasing their home and farmland. It could have shown us Han Solo and Chewbacca landing on Tatooine and looking for lodging for the night, before meeting with Obi Wan and Luke the next day. Instead, it showed us only the most pertinent parts, the parts directly tied to the story and character development.

It seems to me that there are some parts of Higher Cause that we might take for granted. The story could start with Jeff already having met Sophia, for instance. There is nothing terribly important about when and how he meets her that I can see. A bit of streamlining might have us follow Jeff on one mission and then come home to Sophia, whereupon she tells him she is leaving for The Island. A bit of pruning would bring the story more into focus, and put emphasis on the arresting parts of the plot.

Before proceeding to the next chapter, I wish to point out an awkward sentence, the likes of which have cropped up from time to time in the story. It is a simple matter of lack of clarity and vigor. At the beginning of a paragraph that would go on to describe a building exploding, we read, “The building they were gazing at changed drastically.” The story would profit from taking some of these odd sentences and giving them some energy and some precision, or possibly omitting them altogether.

In the second chapter, I see a good opportunity for a bridge between Petur’s recruiting of the investors — during which time information was doled out sparingly — and the present, a bridge that could span a few of the other discussions about the place. Petur lays out his plans to Jeff, plans which, if memory serves, partially duplicate some other monologues in the piece. A little more pruning might take us from Petur’s recruiting trips, give us an introduction to The Island — including the assassination attempt, of course — and then leave us with Jeff’s arrival, where the full battle plan can be finally laid out.

The third chapter in this installment, one feels, is when the novel really gets started, and I think we could get to this point a little more succinctly. Everything up to now has been set up and preamble, some of which is necessary but much of which could be snipped out. From this point on, the story starts, and with some judicious editing we could arrive at this point more smoothly, and with more momentum.